My moment of solitude told me that when you are going low,the whole world wants to hit you below the belt.Thats what exactly has been happening to me or is it just what I think?.I am flummoxed.
I seem to have lost my bearings.My behaviour has become an aberrant one.There is a kind of feeling of being insecure all the time,of being vulnerable.I dont know whats happening to me.I just dont know.
I am yelling at people,spitting out all the venom of frustration on friends.I am complaining about everything that comes across.Gradually ,I am becoming cynical.I was not the same before.Though ,there have been times when I was bowled over and distraught over debacles,but I never gave in to them.But this time,I am not able to keep myself unperturbed.I never had to pretend that everything is hunky-dory because things were genuinely fine then.But I am pretending now although I dont want to.
I dont know what I am transforming into,like some kind of maniac??.I am just sure of one thing ...... this is not the person I used to be.